A BIG question about BIG lies. 

I was one of 89 individuals to show up live and in person for Town Meeting in our small town of 3,020 residents. I also was one of over 34,000 Vermonters to show up on zoom for a Town Hall with congressional delegates Becca Balint, Peter Welsh and the now famous socialist democrat Bernie Sanders. Each of our three elected officials gave brief statements leaving the bulk of the meeting for Q and A.

Last night, a loud THWUMP startled me awake in the middle of the night. I knew what it was. My husband said he heard it start -a scraping, wruuut wruuut sound before the impact. We turned over and fell back asleep. 💤

Being the early riser in our home, I saw it first: the entire railing outside the front door was ripped off, collapsed under the weight of the heavy spring snow. 

I sidestep my skis up the steep snowbank at the top of my driveway, digging deep with my poles to prevent the backward slide into the dirty CRV. Pausing at the top, I smile at my brand new MADSHUSH ski tips sticking out in mid air. I push off my mini mountain and swish onto the trail. I love my new skis.

 Morning light streams in through the tall windows and I savor a few moments of contentment, perched on a bar stool at the granite countertop in my daughter’s new spacious kitchen. My 3 year old grandkid is beside me. We are each in our own world: I with my pen, he with a paper napkin.

🚘 I’m not driving fast to a dentist appointment on a typical Vermont winter day when I feel a familiar slipping beneath me that demands my full attention. I gently touch the brakes, noting to self: don’t oversteer. I’m aware that I’m going downhill and I’m not going any slower. In fact, I’m sliding into the other lane. Good thing no one is coming. I stay calm, reminding myself that I’m good at steering out of a skid. But this is not any skid. Now I’m fishtailing. OH. There’s nothing I can do to stop this one. I’m out of control. I hold onto the wheel and wonder what will happen next. 

Suddenly, there’s a black and white speckled pup trotting down the middle of the road. I slow up, grateful no one's behind me. I flick on flashers and roll down the window as a car from the other direction approaches, stops, and the driver’s door opens. I wrongly assume he’s the owner. 

A few years ago, I watched a tiny turtle hatchling claw its way out of the cavernous sandy hole that had been its safe haven. I restrained my impulse to give it a nudge over the lip of the hole - even after I watched it slide back to the bottom - twice. Slowly, painstakingly, it eventually crested and waddled straight towards the pond even though it was over a hundred yards away. Tall grass, shrubs, fallen trees, and countless other dangers did not dissuade this intrepid little snapping turtle.

I’m on a mission to befriend my nervous system and apparently, I’m not alone. 

Dr. Deb Dana - a respected expert on Polyvagal Theory, wrote a book titled: Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System which I borrowed from my therapist. Since I often read in the bathtub, it looks like I will need to buy her a new copy and keep this one. Which is perfectly fine by me. It’s a gem of a book. 📖