a big question about big lies
A BIG question about BIG lies.
I was one of 89 individuals to show up live and in person for Town Meeting in our small town of 3,020 residents. I also was one of over 34,000 Vermonters to show up on zoom for a Town Hall with congressional delegates Becca Balint, Peter Welsh and the now famous socialist democrat Bernie Sanders. Each of our three elected officials gave brief statements leaving the bulk of the meeting for Q and A.
One person called in and asked: how should we respond when talking with people who are invested in “The Big Lie” or other conspiracy theories⁉️ After a moment of uncharacteristic floundering, Bernie threw up his hands and said, “I don’t know. If you have ideas, please let me know.” What IS the best way to respond to blatant disinformation and conspiracy theories⁉️
It’s a big question - one that I’m asked directly and indirectly through my work as a consultant and educator - especially when working with families who have loved ones in cults. 🙁 This BIG question deserves a GLOBAL response, but as far as I can tell, nothing of the sort exists. I would love to be proven wrong on this, but the remedy lies (pardon the pun) in one on one relationships.
At the International Cultic Studies Association annual conference, I attended a seminar titled, Building Bridges: How to Talk to Conspiracy Believersled by Ulrike Schiessler who works for the Federal office for Sect Issues (Sect = Cult) in Vienna, Austria. I was wowed by the fact that the Austrian government is concerned enough about cults to create an office as a public service institution that offers information and advice in connection with "so-called sects" and ideological issues‼️
From the get-go, Ulrike’s message was clear: There is no panacea that will magically shift people’s perspective. There are, however, tangible and helpful ways to engage with those we care about whose minds have been hijacked.
Let’s imagine a beloved relative named Aunt Esther who believes that the Denver International Airport is the headquarters of the Illuminati (Yes. This is a real ‘thing’.) and she is so obsessed that it’s compromising her relationships and her health. Here are four things to consider as you interact with her:
Who you are is more important than any strategy. How do you (or did you) naturally relate to her? What did you enjoy together before she went down the rabbit hole? How can you remind her of the person she was before then?
Discuss the Source - not the Content. Bring authentic interest to her explorations but focus on where she’s getting her information. Ask if she’s willing to explore other sources.
Silence = agreement. If you don’t agree with her ideas, how can you make that clear without alienating her?
Love is stronger than mind control. This quote, from Dr Steve Hassan is a plea to NOT give up. Consider Aunt Esther’s radiance - her essential self - that she doesn’t have full access to at the moment. Don’t dismiss her because she’s trapped in a silo. Ask her “how will it impact our relationship if we disagree about this?” Ask yourself the same question. Your relationship with Aunt Esther might be a lifeline. Literally.
Vermont Town Meeting Day is democracy in action. But more importantly, it’s relationships in action. In my mind, interacting with others who have similar and differing ideas, is the single most radical action we can take in a world where authoritarianism is being applauded by those who are unwittingly falling under its control.
In what ways are you prioritizing your relationships today? Are you finding ways to show up for those you care the most about? I’d love to hear. Or perhaps you'd benefit from a dedicated time to write about this. Hit reply or come to a Writing to Reckon class this week . 🎉
And don’t forget to register for the Writing Symposium! The early bird discount ends on March 15th. wink wink 😉
Gerette
PS How might things be different in the US today if we had an office like the Austrian Federal Office for Sect Issues ? 🧐
PSS If you want to go down a fun rabbit hole, check out this article that also includes the creative, entertaining way that Denver Airport officials responded to the conspiracy theories. Set a timer - don’t spend more than 10 minutes down there, promise??
