Taking care of business
I sidestep my skis up the steep snowbank at the top of my driveway, digging deep with my poles to prevent the backward slide into the dirty CRV. Pausing at the top, I smile at my brand new MADSHUSH ski tips sticking out in mid air. I push off my mini mountain and swish onto the trail. I love my new skis.
My husband had pestered me to get new skis for years, but I resisted. My Rossignols - a gift for my 40th birthday - were perfect. Maybe I was scared to get new ones. But the laminate (the essential ‘skin’ of a ski) started flapping off last month. It was time. So I did. 😎
It’s one thing to purchase recreational equipment and another more significant act to take care of emotional business - something I put off for nearly two years. 🗓
Some of you may recall that I had the disturbing experience of being unethically ‘fired’ by a new therapist back in the spring of 2023. I won’t go into the gory details but trust me: it was a humiliating, gut-wrenching experience. Here are the cliff notes:
I had gone a few years without therapy and I was longing for good self work. A trusted person recommended this legit therapist. I had a couple of sessions and believed he would be a good fit 🧤for me. I felt ready to make a longer commitment to working, but he informed me - literally in the last minute of a session - that I shouldn’t return. He was done with me. I was stunned. Complex emotions assaulted me when I walked out the door. 🚪I requested - and was denied - further communication, which salted the wound. ❤️🩹
Thankfully, I have an amazing husband and several wise and supportive friends (who also happen to be therapists). I came to understand this was an egregious violation of the therapist-client relationship, an abandonment. With understanding, my anger and clarity emerged and my protective mama bear rose up. I didn’t want this happening to others. Since he refused to speak with me, I’d find a way for my voice to be heard.
I learned how to file a complaint. I wrote it. I copied my communications with him into a file. 📁 But I didn’t file. I forgot about it. 🤓
My nervous system didn’t forget. 🌀 A few weeks ago, I walked past the door to his office and had a visceral reaction. Oh. I guess I’m not done.
It only took a few minutes to re-familiarize myself with the complaint process for the Vermont Office of Professional Regulation and less than an hour to review my documents and hit “submit”.
Ahh… Completion. ✅ When I received the automated response with the subject line: Complaint Received, I took a deep nourishing breath. He will learn about my concerns and answer to the ‘regulators’. I don’t need or expect anything else.
It feels great to take care of business.😁
Now... a hem...I just need to focus on the four months of 2024 accounting I still have to reconcile before passing my taxes to our accountant. 😏
But… I’m going skiing first! Heading out - now - for two days to play in the glorious snow. My computer is staying home. 🎉
Do you have unfinished business to take care of? What’s stopping you?
Would it help to write about it?
The integrative power of writing can support the nervous system and bring more clarity. Writing within the supportive presence of a small group of other survivors can be profound. And helpful. And guess what? There are openings in this Friday’s class! Register Here
Warmly,
Gerette
PS. Here’s my favorite line in my complaint letter: Deciding what is best for another individual is a form of hubris that lies at the heart of unethical, cultic relationships. In case you’re interested, here’s the LINK TO FULL COMPLAINT LETTER (with names and places blocked, of course.)
