When I was enmeshed in my ex-teacher’s narrative, it never occurred to me that I couldn’t change my mind at will. Part of Doug’s schtick included the idea that all CTL members were “free to come and go through the CTL revolving door.” And we did come and go. We could withdraw our membership and rejoin whenever we wanted to. As long as Doug approved, of course...

One of the best things about post- cult life is that I get to exercise my ‘freedom of mind’ muscles and change my mind when I need or want to. Today, I’m aware that this change may appear contradictory or unprofessional - and I feel vulnerable doing it - but that's not stopping me.

My focus will be on trip preparations over the next few days. Wish me the capacity to focus, simplify and savor home and family before leaving it and them for ten days.