The Natural Order of Things
Spring comes slowly in Vermont. Here, it’s “purpling time” - when the tree buds swell and change colors, autumn-style, before the leaves emerge. The rising sap swells each bud but the cold holds them in a slow unfolding of purples and reds. I savor this time of transition, especially now that the snow is mostly gone. My neighbor's woods are the birthplace of many of my letters to you. This morning was no exception when I was caught mid-step by the song of a hermit thrush. I silently finished my step and stood transfixed for several moments of splendor. She was right there, so close, but I couldn’t see her. If you have never heard her full-throated, flute-like song I hope you will someday.
Nourished by the thrush’s song, awed by the eclipse last week, and caught breathless by a soaring hawk last night, I experience - again and again- the natural order of things. I feel myself as a grateful observer and also a tiny participant in the magnificent web - so perfect it’s hard to comprehend. Whatever name we give this magnificence: Nature, God, Spirit, etc, - sets the context. We humans are so small, but we often forget.
And in that forgetting, we inflict harm.
I just finished reading When Religion Hurts You by Laura Anderson, PhD - a worthwhile read for all who strive for greater understanding and healing from spiritual wounding. The book shows the devastation that occurs when a doctrine is imposed on humans in such a way that our personhood is diminished, devalued and demonized. Dr. Anderson details how this is often done through lofty and admirable goals, making is difficult to see that autonomy is being stripped away.
Dr Robert Jay Lifton - considered the grandfather of cultic understanding - speaks of this phenomenon as “Doctrine Over Person.” Lifton is an American psychiatrist and author, who is best known for his studies of war, political violence, and for his theory of thought reform. His foundational work, published the year I was born (1961) is called Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of "Brainwashing" in China. In it, he identifies “Doctrine Over Person” as one of the 8 deadly sins that Mau Zedong’s China imposed on the people to enforce control and instill compliance.
Since the 1400’s the English language has defined doctrine to mean one version or another of: whatever is taught or laid down as true by a master or instructor. I lived by and submitted to a doctrine developed by my ex-teacher Doug, for eighteen years. For me, a whole new life began after I freed myself from the constructs of that creed - a life with far greater freedom and autonomy than the script I was so dedicated to. For me, the biggest shift since leaving ten years ago is inside the privacy of my own thoughts.
Today I can stand mid-step in the woods and breathe into my insignificance while simultaneously feeling sweet joy and awe in this natural order. I experience both connectedness and autonomy. Having lived through the unnatural order of revering an ordinary human being as if he were a god, I don’t take this feeling for granted. I savor it.
How about you? Do you have an experience of an over-sized, over-zealous doctrine that squashed your autonomy? What did you, or can you do to restore the natural order of things?
