Designed for Discomfort
“This is designed to be uncomfortable,” Adam said without apology. Timed just before the election, they created an emotionally safe workshop in which to explore, reflect and hopefully, arrive at some level of peace around a prominent political figure.
In 2016 and 2020 I followed the news closely and wrote blog posts about cult dynamics inspired by the election. But not this time. I have paced my news consumption to small doses and I’m preparing for my vote in quiet and personal ways.
When a Canadian friend forwarded a link for a free event titled “Finding Peace with (a prominent politician),” I was intrigued enough to register after reading the short description that included these four words: contemplative, conflict, compassion and complicity. Hooked by my fondness for hard c words, I figured there’d be room for someone like me who works to combat coercive cultic control. 😉
The timing for this workshop was perfect except that I would miss the last half hour. Before I popped the message about my early departure into the zoom chat, I winced, fearing that it would be disruptive. I nearly added, “I can exit now, if leaving early is too disruptive". Adam read my message aloud and without missing a beat, said “No problem Gerette, everyone has to take care of themselves first.” The way they responded assured my nervous system there was no hidden agenda or keeping score.
Why did that thought flutter through my awareness? Because that’s what happened in every CTL class I ever attended. Tardiness was taboo. Leaving early was verboten. Right and wrong were stitched into every aspect of the class experience.
“That was then” I told myself, taking a deep breath, scanning the zoom room, surprised there were so many men- twice the number of women. After efficiently establishing group agreements and consent, Adam asked us three questions, pausing between each one to allow us time to write.
How are you feeling right now?
How are you feeling about the upcoming election?
What do you WANT to feel about the election?
The third question broke an emotional dam in me. Spontaneous tears spilled as I blurted: I want to feel TRUST! I want to trust that no matter what happens life will be ok.
A visceral tension arose between what I want to feel and the troubled narratives that float through my mind and spin out of control just beyond my news-censored barricade. We moved into the heart of the workshop and grappled with other messy, uncomfortable thoughts.
Adam’s design for discomfort created an environment that helped stuck ideas shift within me. It encouraged me to contemplate both inner and outer conflict and ultimately land in a place of compassion for myself, for my fellow citizens and even for the political leaders who are vying for our votes.
I realize: Growth does not happen without discomfort. We humans are capable of working through extreme discomfort - and through this process, we become more human, more beautiful, more real. And this in turn, builds the kind of trust I WANT to feel about the election.
Has discomfort created opportunity for deeper regard in your life? How can staying an uncomfortable course support these next steps for each of us - the people - and all beings - who reside in the United States of America as we face the ballot box? Are you growing through the discomfort?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Gerette
PS Feel free to explore Adam's work here.
