Antidote to Danger part one
...best approached with care...
Last week, I gave a book reading in the sweetest cafe: Shipwrecked, on the shore of the Hudson River, two doors down from a restaurant run by a cultic group. I read a smattering of passages from my memoir, An Everyday Cult.
Halfway into the reading, I made a mistake when I turned to the bookmarked chapter about John J and his death by suicide. The night before, when I was preparing in my room at the Hudson Valley Writer’s Residency, it felt edgy to read from this chapter, but it also felt ok.
Standing in front of the small but attentive audience, I read the headline to the chapter aloud - something I had skimmed past in my preparation. It was the date: March 3, 2013. I burst into tears.💦
I had just checked in with the audience, acknowledging that some content could be disturbing. I asked, “Are you doing ok?” and invited everyone to take care of themselves. “Get up and stretch. 🙆🏼♀️ If you have to leave, it’s fine.”
The unexpected gush of feeling arose from the totality of the moment: the setting, the kind people, my body, my memories. But it was the tiny detail of proximity to the anniversary of John's death that triggered the tear burst. 🥹
“Well, I guess I can’t handle reading from this chapter today.” I moved on.
After the reading, 📖 this audience was eager for dialogue. As I expected, someone asked about the parallels with my experience and what’s happening in the US today. The exchange that transpired was engaging and beautiful and so real.
A woman with a British accent drew parallels between the US today and her experience of living in Argentina 🇦🇷 during the military dictatorship of the 1970’s and 80’s. During this period, anyone even suspected of political dissonance, were ‘disappeared’ by the junta. Terror pervaded her life. One never knew who would be the next friend or family member to be hunted down or abducted. I believe she feared for her life. The danger was real. The Argentinian junta called themselves: The National Reorganization Process.
Today, here in America, the danger is real. I believe we are experiencing psychological warfare designed to instill fear, cause confusion, and engender compliance in enough of the population for the administration to maintain control. The organizing and protesting is important. 🪧 But as a cult survivor, I see another danger in the drama of the times: that we are prone to forgetting ourselves.
In my humble opinion, the task for humanity today is to focus first and foremost on knowing ourselves. On slowing things down enough to feel.On hitting the pause button and checking in with ourself and with each other and asking: do we have the capacity to engage without being catapulted into overdrive, shutdown, or self-destruction? What unexpected tears might flow 💦 or hidden triggers might derail our efforts? What is realistic to engage in without tipping the scales towards depletion or drivenness without discernment?
There's danger ahead so let’s prioritize self care. OK?!?
You are warmly invited to come to the writing symposium this Saturday - whether you identify as a cult survivor or not. On some level, we are all victims of an abusive authoritarian regime right now. In my mind, the more we collectively grapple with this reality, the more effective our efforts will be. Together, we can learn from three brilliant, inspiring speakers who have walked the walk 🌟🌟🌟.
Register Today. There’s a place for you here. We will learn, write, question and be in the comfort of each other’s company.
Warmly,
Gerette
PS This is part one of a three-part essay. Here is part two & part three!
